Pro Tip: Invite the Girlies Over For Brunch
Thoughts on hosting, being a grown up with a house and combatting your inner mean girl
It’s 10:25 am and I’m making heart-shaped waffles while one of my besties is frosting cupcakes. We’re shoulder to shoulder in my tiny kitchen—Wannabe by The Spice Girls blasting from a nearby speaker. I’m still wearing PJs and a batter-stained apron and bestie is already dressed to the nines. As she arranges her cupcakes on a tray, and as I line up my waffles between fruit and a small bowl of Nutella, the doorbell rings. My eyes widen as my friend and I turn to each other, a bit surprised. “Someone’s here!!” I shout. “They’re early!!” bestie exclaims. We then both shriek in delight.
Growing up in a relatively large family, holidays meant that my childhood home was a bustling blend of people, delicious smells, rolling laughter and chatting over the sounds coming from the TV, (which for some reason, was literally always on.) Most of the time it was lovely, but my introverted self would often retreat to the bathroom for a quick breather and some quiet. If things got way too overstimulating, I’d retreat upstairs to my bedroom — to change clothes, freshen up, or simply just be for a minute.
The distance made the downstairs cacophony muffled, and I have memories of feeling a slight dread as I paced around my bedroom, enjoying the momentary peace, but ultimately knowing I had to make my way back downstairs. It wasn’t that I disliked my family; I honestly just needed a break.
As an adult, I can see how truly lucky I am to have a family that gathers, even now. It’s, of course, totally different having a family meal and passing the bread basket to your little brother, than say, a dinner party with girlfriends. And I’ve dreamed of having meals at home with a close-knit group of women to sip wine and swap secrets with.
The older I’ve gotten, and as my day job has evolved to mostly working from home, I’ve learned that friendships must be tended to. It’s a commitment, and if friendships are left for too long — my mind automatically goes to the worst possible place.
No one likes you.
No one has reached out to you recently, maybe you did something wrong.
You have no friends.
You have no friends!!
And even though I know in my bones that this small voice in my head is spouting lies (of course you have friends, girl!), it’s hard not to believe the things it whispers in my ear. The voice must be combatted—and fast.
The time had come to throw a party.
If you are an anxious little bunny like I am when it comes to inviting people to your house, it’s best to find someone who loves planning parties to co-host with. I paired up with a close friend who adores hosting. She will stay up til the crack of dawn to find the perfect recipe. She’s a budgeting queen. Her outfits are always on point. And she makes people feel warm fuzzies because of how kind and lovely she is. We invited three friends over for brunch, making it a table set for 5. My little baby introverted heart swelled— 5 felt like the perfect number.
As I searched through Pinterest for tablescape ideas and ran errands for fresh flowers and pink cutlery, my worst fear still lingered at the back of my mind.
No one is actually going to come.
Your house is a disaster anyway.
They’re just saying they’re excited, but they’re actually not.
They’ll cancel on you last minute, just you wait!!
Despite my inner mean girl hissing in my ear, I soldiered on. I was lucky enough to have my co-host reassure me that yes, our friends are really going to come and no, finding the perfect heart shaped paper plates isn’t silly, it’s wonderful! I reminded myself it’s a gift to have a home that’s fit for hosting, and how cutie it is to have friends who are willing and ready to walk through your front door.
My co-host arrived the next day bright and early, carrying grocery bags full of food and decor. We gathered in my kitchen and made waffles, frosted cupcakes, cut up strawberries and put it all on serving trays as we joked and sang along to the playlist I made the night before. And then the doorbell rang.
Our first guest arrived a few minutes early, armed with flowers and a bottle of wine. I hastily washed my hands, and giggled over the fact that I was still in my pajamas. I gave her a squeeze, showed her inside, and offered her a drink. The signature cocktail for the day was a Kir Royale with a raspberry garnish, and the mocktail was a Shirley Temple topped with maraschino cherries. She helped herself to ginger ale and grenadine while the second guest arrived in a green jumpsuit and white boots, proudly announcing that she had been looking forward to this brunch for weeks. As my friends exchanged hugs, I beamed and told them that I’d be right back, gesturing to my pajamas. We all shared a laugh as I made my way upstairs, shouting, “Make yourself at home!” as I reached the top.
I then found myself in my bedroom — freshening up, putting on an outfit, spritzing perfume—as my guests conversed downstairs. Standing in my unbuttoned jeans, I had a jarring sense of déjà vu, like I was retreating upstairs to get away from the din of family discussion. Except this time I wasn’t in my childhood bedroom. And I wasn't retreating because I was overwhelmed. Instead, listening to my sweet friends downstairs was akin to sipping a bubbly champagne. I felt buoyant, effervescent and ready to have so much fun.
As I continued to swap my pancake batter-stained sweats for pants with a button and a cute top, I relished this feeling. The girlies are here for brunch! Why was I afraid no one would come? Of course they’re here! And in that moment, as I did one more quick check in the mirror, I thanked my lucky stars that I decided to push through my fear. It was time for a mimosa and a catch-up with the girlies—and boy, was I ready.
So besties, this is a little reminder. If you’ve been thinking about inviting the girlies over, but have hesitated because your house isn’t pretty enough, or everyone is too busy, or you secretly think that they maybe don’t like you for some silly reason you’ve completely made up in your mind, this is your sign to just DO IT. (and PS. your friends adore you and your cutie self, don’t be a dumb dumb) We get one measly little life. It’s our job to romanticize every little moment of it, and celebrating female friendships is something I try to do every day. So hug your besties, call them up—instead of text!— and tell them how stunning they are inside and out. And if you want to, invite them over for brunch.
I like brunch because it’s really easy and everyone loves it. Get a quiche or two from the grocery store and heat it up in the oven. Cut up some fruit. Make a pot of coffee. Have OJ and bubbly for mimosas and call it a day. I even have a playlist for you! Blast it while you prepare your food, dance in the kitchen and sing between sips of coffee and bites of croissant. Tie little bows around your champagne stems. Throw on an outfit that makes you feel good. Wear your favorite perfume, and don’t forget a spritz or two in your hair. (Your besties will smell it as you give them a hug.) Look around your table and take snapshots in your mind of your gorgeous friends. We’re only this young once, no matter how old we are, and it’s moments like these that turn a regular Sunday into a cherished memory. And isn’t that what life is all about, anyway?
Besties, please enjoy this playlist, This One’s For The Girlies. This was the same playlist I played at my brunch—plus I’ve added to it. It’s all pop girlies! Lots of throwbacks in the second half, but it starts with all the songs we’ve probably been listening to all summer—Chappelle Roan, Charli xcx, and all eras of Taylor Swift too (obviously).
Thank you so much, as always, for reading. It truly means the world! I hope you’re having as much fun reading as I am writing :) If you loved this little essay, please feel free to subscribe, share and/or tap the cutie heart button. And please let me know in the comments if you decide to throw your own brunch! I’d love to know and cheer you on. Til next time queens.
xx, Kristen
This was so sweet to read and I relate so much to retreating from family gatherings for a breather. Made so much sense when I learned about Human Design. I’m a Projector! Maybe you are too??
This was so lovely I felt like I was there 🥂 I’m suuuuch an anxious host (have I offered drinks enough/too much, are people too hot/cold, are they bored???). This was a nice reminder that it’s probably actually fine 🌸