The Hot Girls Guide To Cleaning Your Closet

Gorgeous gorgeous girls declutter their things

Real talk: I’m obsessed with Marie Kondo. I love that she treats her belongings like they’re sentient beings with hopes and dreams. She’s famous for walking into a space and being like “Hi house! Thank you for keeping me safe, house! What’s the vibe today, house?” Like in her Netflix show—remember when she would go into people’s homes and be like, I’m gonna greet the space and everyone was like oh ok, and then she’d sit in silence with her eyes closed while everyone awkwardly watched her or kind of joined in?! Obsessed. When I learned that she converses with spaces and belongings, I was like, omg me too! I love talking to my things! I thought I was bananas!!

Now that it’s August, I know the girlies are getting ready for fall fashion. The seasonal swap of warm weather clothes to cool weather ones should be celebrated with a cinnamon scented candle and a little treat if you ask me. It’s a natural time to declutter, and as I was having intimate conversations with my garments this past weekend, I thought I would throw together a hot girls guide to decluttering your closet. Aka treating your clothes like they’re your besties, holding onto your ride or dies and gently letting go of the girlies you’ve outgrown, maybe in more ways than one. In a nice way though. Cause tbh I get a little sad letting things go, ya know?

The vibe lol

Step One: Do A Soft Edit

A pro like Marie Kondo will tell you to take EVERYTHING out of your closet, but hear me out anxious girlies, you do not have to do this. I get heart palpitations thinking about taking every item out of my closet, so instead, do a *soft* edit. Check in with your things, one item at a time, in your closet. I decided to experiment and only keep the garments that made me say, “Hi! Wow! I love you!” And put everything else in a pile on my bed. My bestie garments include thrifted blazers, Taylor Swift themed hoodies, a monogrammed crewneck sweatshirt, a secondhand Ralph Lauren button down and every single Hillhouse dress I own. You don’t have to do it exactly like this, but remember, the vibes are literally everything. Have a moment with each of your garments, check in with how they make you feel, then make your piles accordingly.

PS. I felt a little nervous putting clothes that didn’t pass the vibe check on my bed. I had a conversation with an extra light wash denim jacket that went something like, “Hey girl! Ok I like you. I actually love denim jackets. But I think your wash is just a little bit too light for me. It’s not you, it’s me! Truly. I’m not letting you go yet, I’m just putting you in a little pile on the bed. Ok love you bye. But just for now. Not forever. I think. I dunno. GAH!” Then I kept going.

I’m Matilda Djerf and her dog Rufus is my pile of 4243 articles of clothing

Step Two: Take a Nap With Your Pile of Clothes. Or Just Take A Break

Decluttering is exhausting. Once you’re done going through your things, maybe have a little snack. Take a nap. If you fall asleep with your pile of clothes for two hours, be nice to yourself and say that resting is part of the process, cause it is. Spiral a little because you want to put these clothes in a box and stuff them in a corner, then realize you don’t have a box. Again—the spiraling is part of the process. It’s ok though, because you remember you can put them in trash or recycling bags, which you definitely have. Drink some water. Then pour yourself a Diet Coke or fancy drink of choice and get back to work.

Step 3: Sort Through Your Piles, Then Put Them In Bags

Ok, so if you’re an organized girlie, maybe you have a pile of clothes for consignment or Poshmark or something similar. A nice thing to think about is your garment having new adventures with another girlie. Just be sure you’re being realistic aka your garment is in good shape and doesn’t have weird holes or stains. The rest of your garments can go in a toss pile, and you can hopefully find a spot that can recycle fabric scraps etc. so you don’t feel poopy throwing away clothes. (Take Back bags are incredible btw) If you’re like me, you’ll probs throw your donate piles into clear recycling bags and toss them in the trunk of your car—relieved that they’re out of your house, but unsure if they will ever see the light of day ever again. Don’t be like me though and just drive to the thrift store like, now lol. Also if there are garments in these donate/toss piles that you decide you want to keep, keep them! My light denim jacket went back in the closet. I’ll wear her while I search for a new one. Slay.

Not my closet but we’re *manifesting*

Step 4: Marvel At Your Lighter and Brighter Closet

Ok, so after a little rearranging, the vibe in your closet now should be excellent. She should feel lighter, there should be a little more space and room to breathe. The vibes in my closet after 5 hours of work are fierce. As I sifted through my dresses that hung in my closet post-edit, little butterflies fluttered in my tummy. Each garment felt like a friend, and I found myself complimenting each of them, one by one. It went something like,

Hey gorg!
Ugh, you’re stunning.
Loooove
You’re gorgeous!
Bestieeee
YES
I love you!!

The only garments that remain in my closet now are all “hell yes” pieces. Pieces that I love wearing, and can’t wait to put on my body again. My once stuffed closet all of a sudden has tons of room, and my enormous pile of “hmm”, “I dunnoooo” and “maybe?!” garments are now out of my house and on their way to a better life.

But also, let’s not get it twisted. Did I find gaps in my current wardrobe? Yes. Did I feel feelings about certain items of clothing not fitting that used to? Yes. Did I also feel feelings because I kind of think I’m changing and have new goals and clothes that no longer fit my current lifestyle?! Yes girl! Our closet can be filled with FEELINGS! It can be hard letting items go because of our feels.

If you’re having trouble parting with your clothes, I come back to my queen Marie Kondo. She says when it’s time to let something go, you express gratitude for that item and thank it for its service. It fulfilled its duty to you and now it’s time to move on. My gratitude looks something like, “Hi jeans. Wow you’re cute, but girl, I gotta be honest with you. You don’t fit me anymore. That’s why you sit in my closet, and I’m sure that makes you lonely and sad. It honestly makes me sad too. Instead of staying sad, I’m gonna donate you so you can have adventures and be worn like you’re supposed to. And I won’t have to feel bad about myself every time I look at you because girl, you’re a literal pair of pants. Anyway, thank you so much for being my jeans. Love you.” It’s that process over and over, til you’re left with only your ride or die garments. And ps. the goal isn’t about having the least amount of items possible, it’s about only having garments that make you happy—or as Marie Kondo says, sparks joy.

In conclusion, I highly recommend a seasonal closet clean out and treating your clothes like they’re your friends. Wear them, love them, take care of them. And fall fashion is my literal favorite! I think I’m most excited to wear a black newsboy cap I just bought at an estate sale. It goes so well with a Nili Lotan x Target plaid double breasted overcoat I got a few years ago—it’s definitely giving Red vibes, just in a different colorway hehe. Happy decluttering! 🤗

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